Catch feelings, not flights

Where the hell did this catchphrase come from “catch flights not feelings”? And how did that gain so much traction? I want to punch that catchphrase in the face! When did we become ill-equipped to deal with our feelings?

Perhaps I’m a little more bitter at this than the average joe because in my profession I see firsthand how erosive trends like this are to mental health. This is what I hear whenever I see this catchphrase… “Hey guys, I got an idea…instead of learning how to deal with the full spectrum of human emotion that we all need to feel to become more well-rounded and more empathetic human beings, let’s all just go on holidays and worry about ourselves instead. Who’s in?!” ….Get outta here.

Holidays are great fun and travel is character building, 100%. I’ve done a lot of it and it has shaped me in many ways. I’ll keep travelling the world for the rest of my life. Just don’t use it as an excuse to run-away from essential experiences.

In my observations, people are becoming increasing less able to handle their emotions and cope with their feelings. Do you want to know why? I believe it comes from this subtle but dominant lie spreading through our society (piggybacked by social media of course) that says “you should be happy all the time” or “life is all about being in a state of happiness”. Well, that’s ridiculous. Have you ever related to someone who has never been through heartache, or pain, or challenges, or felt anger, jealousy, sadness? Of course not. In fact, people you think are happy 24/7 and have a permanent smile painted on their face you would more likely be embarrassed to talk to about your problems. People can pretend, and they can post ultra positive inspiring quotes, and be miserable.

This lie shames people into thinking there are good and bad emotions and that if you feel any of the “bad” emotions you better do whatever you can – whether it be yoga, mindfulness, cleansing retreat, drugs …whatever! to get yourself back to the “good” emotions of zen and happiness… Rubbish.

There are no good and bad emotions. All emotions are essential. How you act on those emotions can be negative or positive, but the emotions themselves are not “bad” – they are necessary, vital, crucial, fundamental… how else can I make this point powerful?! You can never know what joy is without feeling sadness. You can’t know what sweet is without tasting a disgusting olive…(yuck.) There has to be an opposite in all things to know the difference and to appreciate the alternative.

So what is everyone running from? Have you had a bad break-up or a few bad Tinder dates? Are you throwing your hands in the air and going to find a sexy Brazillian or something? Let’s face it… everyone is looking for love, you’re not really running away from it, deep down your trying to run to it. You can act cool…but you’re not cool…none of us are cool. We would ALL be miserable cat ladies without love and connection. If you’re having trouble finding it, maybe I can help with that… but stop lying to yourself by pretending you don’t care, and stop trying to callous yourself enough to feel nothing.  

Building connections with people is the single most fulfilling and important thing in life. Learning to love deeply and unconditionally is where it’s all at. Sure, it brings pain at times (even a lot of times). Opening yourself up fully to others can be disappointing, scary, heartbreaking…all of the things we don’t like to feel. But you know what else is disappointing, scary and heartbreaking? Never opening yourself up at all! Everything great in life always comes with a risk. It has to or you wouldn’t appreciate it.

How about you stay, catch some feelings?… and then go take some flights with a special person.